Acceptance (revisted and reconstructed note from the past)
Sometimes we assign roles to people in our lives without even knowing it and it can be so damaging. Intentionally or not we may say “You be this person, I’ll be this person and everything will be perfect.” As our unfair role expectancies and assignments may indirectly state.
All of us may play roles at different times and it’s so important to not take these roles too seriously. Of course having certain standards of behaviour that we expect from partners and friends, with compatible values, etc. is necessary, but we are all human. Everyone has so many layers created by our past, our feelings, our thoughts….everything. We need to accept each other and not take ourselves so seriously. When we do this we can stop damaging what we have through judging each other or expecting someone to “meet our needs” by playing a certain role.
If we can accept that we are not perfect, that we may slip up, sometimes feel angry, maybe do things that offend either intentionally or not then it’s completely expected that other people may do the same. It doesn’t make bad treatment okay, or mean that we need to submit and be powerless to have meaningful relationships and connected interactions, but it can allow acceptance of what we can’t change, room for growth, and genuine acceptance of eachother and our differences, even in the midst of disagreements, which is always more effective and more powerful than anger and resentment (harboured or outright expressed).
Then, if action is necessary, we can decide the best course to take, and perhaps negotiate, without final decisions being overrun by hurt feelings and knee jerk reactions.
It’s painful but liberating when we see that we’ve been fooling ourselves. It’s just plain painful when we don’t see what we’re doing and always wonder why our unrealistic needs are unmet or not met for long.
No one is perfect, no one can be everything and that is an amazing and beautiful thing. It can help us learn to accept each other and ourselves. It can teach patience, perseverence, independence, true compassion and forgiveness.We can learn to really be with one another, and In a really amazing and growth promoting way. The demands for certain roles and unrealistic expectations can be seen, healthily acknowledged, and placed aside as we continue to grow as people. Together and with our own important goals and gifts.

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