Hi!! It’s now 13 weeks from the shoot and I can tell you….I am very,very glad there is still 13 weeks left! My training/nutrition has certainly not been spot on.
There are things I have been overthinking and it’s actually kind of funny to think of how caught up in worries/negative thinking we can get and how much these things can effect everything when we let them.
Not being able to do sprints/plyos or any other type of foot pounding movements has left me thinking about what I “can’t” do in regards to training instead of what I “can” do. Which is still a lot. Since cardio sessions aren’t as quick or fun to me as they would be if I could sprint or run stairs, I have been slacking on cardio. Reeeeallly awesome direction to choose, I know.
If we find ourselves losing motivation sometimes the best thing to do is look back at what kept us motivated to begin with. Maybe we’ll find our feelings for what we’re doing have changed and it just takes a different way of looking at everything or maybe it’s just time to reassess our goals.
I’ve noticed changes in how I feel about the show/shoot process, personally. I don’t feel like I “need” to compete, I don’t really “need” very strict structure, anymore. I like being “normal” and love knowing that my newfound normal is healthy without having to be extreme. I have begun to find more balance than I ever have before and it’s been both weird and really, really great to find.
Now it seems things have changed from, yes, enjoying something but also having a feeling of “needing” to do it, to now having the question of whether or not I still really want to without that need.
I have been so up and down with my plans and feelings about everything and I think being so unsure calls for some time to really think things through.
I will do this shoot. I have an obligation, I am excited about it and the concepts that have always been something I’ve wanted to work on with Andriy. I know an opportunity like this doesn’t come around too often and have a really great feeling about the outcome. I have been letting my questions about the future and future decisions distract me from what I can do now.
I am going to do the best I can with what I have to work with, which I know I am more than capable of doing when I get my head in it.
But there is a part of me that definitely feels things changing. Will I continue to do this? I don’t know. I have loved it so much and the shoots are now a new favourite part, but really strict preps (like show preps and some shoots) may require a lot of distraction from other things and it feels like now is the time where I’m really finding my place. There are plans, goals and hopes that require more energy, time and brain power, not to mention emotional stability, than what contest prep really allows for and truthfully having more time with my family/friends, training just for the fun and challenge of it, eating well without “having to” while knowing it’s okay to not be perfect 100% of the time, are things I am enjoying now more than ever. These are things that can be limited quite a bit while prepping.
This may seem a bit off to some, but I think sometimes we are afraid to voice doubts and questions out of fear of it looking like weakness. It’s important to know that it is okay to question things and if one person feels a certain way, chances are there are others who do as well.
Competing can lead the way to new levels of confidence, self discovery and incredible new relationships. But it does require a lot of focus and, perhaps, a lot of distraction from other things. We just have to decide what is really important to us at the time and what we really want to focus on.
We’ll just see 🙂
In the mean time, leg day here I come!